90 Degrees and Counting

Well, it’s hot out today. I’m sitting in my room finishing up a cup of coffee with an awkward little blue fan blowing on me. The lights are off and it’s quiet in here except for the buzzing of the fan. An odd habit of mine is to find what tone a particular appliance or machine is making, match it with my voice and then harmonize with it. I’ve found it works with the home vacuum cleaner, the elevator in the Jenks Library at school and evidently, my fan.

Yes, I realize this is strange. However, I found that I’m not the only one to make this discovery. I texted my guitar teacher, Ken about it a while ago in the hope that I would out-weird him, but he just texted back and said “Hahahaha I know…. I’ve done it.”

Somehow I think Ken was meant to be my guitar teacher. He’s done a heck of a lot more than teach me guitar. I can honestly say he’s been a wonderful mentor for life in general and he’s helped me so much in terms of my faith. I’ll never admit it to him, but I had an enormous crush on him for the first couple years of taking lessons.

I’ve been reading the Inheritance Cycle, which is a fantasy series about a boy named Eragon and his dragon, Saphira. In the third book of the series, Eragon’s cousin, Roran made a comment that made a lot of sense to me. There is an elf named Arya, whom Eragon has a crush on. Elves live forever, and since Eragon is a Dragon Rider, he is also immortal. Arya is around one hundred years old and Eragon is around eighteen. On their travels together, Eragon and Roran have a conversation about love. Roran asks Eragon if he will ever marry. Eragon says that he most likely will not, because Arya does not love him, and he thinks it would be somewhat wrong to marry a mortal woman. Roran says “It is safer to love Arya and never marry than to have your heart broken.” Since I’ve never dated, this reminded me of my crush on Ken. It’s probably a stretch… I think I do that a lot… stretch things farther than they’re meant to be stretched.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand how dating works. I’ve learned the hard way that, generally it’s the guy who does the asking out. I’ve asked numerous guys out with basically the same results. He says yes, we exchange numbers, I text him, he never texts me back. It just seems to me that I shouldn’t have to wait around for someone to ask me out. Of course we have a conversation before I ask, and the conversations usually go well enough. I’ve been told that doing the asking may turn guys off, but why would they say yes in the first place? I don’t usually straight up ask them out anyway. I usually ask if they’d like to get a cup of coffee or jam or just chat again.

I’ve had somewhat different results when chatting with people online. I’m on an anonymous discussion forum, and occasionally I’ll strike up a conversation with someone who then just drops off the face of the earth mid-conversation. Some people have told me- and this is what I’ve decided to believe- that I am currently single because I haven’t met the right person yet, and God is preparing me for when I do meet this person. The thing is, I want to be proactive. I want to actively try to meet this person. It’s just annoying when people don’t respond to me. The other thing is, I’ve hardly ever heard of the first relationship being the last. It would be exceedingly awesome if my first relationship was my last- with a positive outcome, obviously- but I wouldn’t count on my luck being that good.

I feel a little like I’m repeating myself here, because I’ve thought about this many a time, and of course everything comes back to cliche.

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