Playing God

As a writer, I’m basically playing God. Spoiler Alert! My story starts out by me basically abusing one of my main characters. While I was writing about it, I felt awfully bad. I said to myself, “Self, this has to happen for the rest of the story to work out.” I wonder if this is how God feels when He lets bad things happen.

I’m a weirdo, so I read a bunch of stuff about the Biblical apocalypse online last night. People make it sound awfully scary. I guess it is sort of scary. I’ve had this weird interest in the end of the world lately. I guess it’s like being part of a story and wanting to know the end. Maybe knowing the end of a story before it happens isn’t such a good thing–unless you’re writing it, that is. Maybe knowing that you or your friend are going to die ahead of time isn’t such a good thing.

If you could know the time, place and cause of your death, would you want to? What if you spent the rest of your days trying to avoid it and in doing so, you made it happen? I don’t think I would want to know. At the same time though, if you knew, maybe you could bring yourself to peace with it and it wouldn’t be as bad or scary when it actually happened.

I’m a very present-oriented person. The past irritates me and the future scares me a little. I like to have a routine and I like my stuff the way it is. I don’t like change. When my mom said she was going to buy me an iPhone 5, I was thoroughly annoyed with her. I already had a working phone! I’ve since got used to it, though.

I do like learning new things, which is why I find photography fun. I need to get better at it though. Some of my pictures are blurry. I’ve been teaching myself a few new covers on guitar. I have a set list that’s comfortably 40 minutes long. If I practice a bunch I can probably play for 2 hours or so. I want to go work in the studio some more, but my friend has been ignoring his phone! I actually need to update the set list a bit. I’m going to do that now and then I’m going to write!

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