Yesterday was fun. It was my big album release day: my moment in the spotlight. Yesterday I got a whole bunch of people to go and buy something that I created; something I’m proud of. I got all kinds of attention, congratulations, and praise about how good my music is. Yesterday I felt like a goddess.
But I’m not a rock star, and I know I need to stay humble. I look at what I’ve done and I think “how did I get here?” The truth is, that I’ve learned a whole lot through this process. I had no idea what I was doing when I finished recording and mixing this thing in the studio, and I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing to a degree. It’s great to know that people like my music, but I’ve had to learn and improvise my way here.
I spent a large part of yesterday checking Facebook, updating Twitter, working on getting one of my songs on Pandora, and checking to see how many views I’ve got on YouTube. I got a little obsessed with seeing how many people paid attention to me when I should have been doing homework.
Last night I told my Dad that I don’t want to be a student anymore. Honestly, that really is true, but for now I need to suck it up and finish my last year of college. I am still a student. I am still a quirky, awkward kid living in a boring suburban town. I still have no idea what the “real world” is like, and I’m still just trying to figure out how to make an actual living off this music thing.
I have to remember where it started and where I want it to go. Ultimately, I have two goals for my music. I want it to glorify God, and I want to be able to use it to help people and maybe make the world a little bit of a better place. Maybe that just means making music that makes people happy. I think those are pretty big goals, actually, but I’m also very optimistic. I just can’t get ahead of myself, and I can’t get impatient. I’m already realizing that impatience can be a big problem.
Thanks for reading and listening.
Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!