Monthly Archives: March 2015

Between Time And Eternity

Last night there was still a lingering remnant of light in the sky at 7:00 PM. Spring is here; Spring is coming.

Today, I went outside and took the long way to go to my second class because it was finally warm. Spring is here; Spring is coming.

The days are slowly getting warmer and longer. Spring is here; Spring is coming.

Soon I’ll be able to go on my daily wander around the neighborhood without my feet freezing. Spring is here; Spring is coming.

Soon I’ll be able to bring my bird outside and show him that the world is bigger than our kitchen. Spring is here; Spring is coming.

The snow is finally melting and the first patches of grass are appearing. Spring is here; Spring is coming.

Things will start growing.

The icecream shop down the street will open and we’ll go there when it’s still too cold for icecream.

In May we’ll open the pool, even though it’ll be too cold to swim.

We prepare for Summer because Spring is here; Spring is coming.

My dad will order seeds for when it’s time to plant them, and every year our garden grows. Spring is here; Spring is coming.

We are now between things. It’s been a long winter.

This is the time of careful steps; of love; of touch and sunlight: and Grace is found in the cracks between Time and Eternity–the spaces where there is found suspended disbelief and miracles and hope

The Kingdom is here; the Kingdom is coming.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

Prolific

Truth is prolific. It can be found in many places. Being a musician, I tend to find it in songs, and being a student of literature, I find it in poetry and stories. These are just a few places I have found Truth:

“I’ll let you know if you need somewhere to go, I’ll be listening when you call and I”ll be there if you fall off. If you need someone to believe in you I”ll let you know I will. But sometimes you gotta let it go.” Less Than Jake: The Brightest Bulb has Burned Out

“You can take a line, say it isn’t straight. That aint gonna change its shape.” Jets To Brazil: All Things Good And Nice

“Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds.” William Shakespeare

“When we love ’till we’re empty, that’s where life begins” Tenth Avenue North: Grace

“You are more than the problems you create. You’ve been remade.” Tenth Avenue North: You Are More

“Beauty is truth, truth beauty. That is all ye know on Earth and all ye need to know.” John Keats: Ode on a Grecian Urn

“If you wanna kiss the sky you better learn how to kneel.” U2: Mysterious Ways

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

It’s Complicated

I understand why people find it difficult to believe in Christianity, or any religion for that matter. I understand why people find it difficult even to believe in any kind of benevolent deity. I acknowledge the terrible things that so called Christians have done and the things they still do today. The truth is that they are not Christians. The truth is that the Gospel is less complicated than it sounds. The truth is this:

We are all born into a broken world and we are all inherently sinful. However, we were all created in the image of God; we all have good in us, and we are all forgiven because of what Jesus did 2,000 years ago. His sacrifice allowed us to have a relationship with God, but in that, he wants us to uphold a promise: that, in the simplest terms, we will love everyone no matter what.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

Time And Truth

Sometimes I go to bed at night feeling like I failed. I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to, or I didn’t do anything or I didn’t do enough that was productive or helpful to others. Sometimes I feel like I’ve wasted a day. It is a luxury I can afford, but it isn’t one that I feel I deserve. It certainly isn’t something I’ve merited. I have no right or reason to waste time. Time is a person’s most valuable resource. We are only given a set amount of time to begin with, and all we can do is lose it. We can never get it back like we can money or possessions or even love.

That is not to say that we can’t or even shouldn’t spend time doing pointless things. Time is a free gift. So is place and circumstance. To some degree, I believe it would be ungrateful not to take advantage of the luxuries we are given or can afford. I am grateful that I can afford to waste a day if I want to from time to time. I am grateful that I can sleep in a comfortable bed and not have to worry that something bad will happen while I’m asleep. I am grateful that I live within driving distance of an excellent school and within walking distance of my weird, ugly church that has become a home. I am grateful that I can afford modern technology to research and work and write.

I am grateful that, even though I am currently unemployed and really don’t have that much money to my name, I can afford to give a little to fellow musicians when they feature at open mic nights. I am grateful that I have time to give to my church and to blog and write, learn and play music.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning (or afternoon) and smile and think to myself: “Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you that the sun has come up and that we have another day to become better humans and to love more and do more and be more.” Each day is a miracle. Each day is a gift. So many things we take for granted are truly miraculous. The universe could have been completely random and chaotic and arbitrary, but it’s not. It is ordered and good, and to some degree, predictable. It is a miracle that the earth is just close enough, and just far enough from the sun to allow for life. It is a miracle that there is water and edible things. It is a miracle that people can speak and think and use language. It is a miracle that, through the use of language and science, we can begin to understand our Creator.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

Three Dreams

Last night I had a few very weird dreams.

The first was that the world was ending and no one knew how to save it except for one really annoying guy who no one wanted to talk to. That dream didn’t really go anywhere, except that I eventually ended up talking to him because I didn’t want the world to end. The problem was that I couldn’t understand what he was saying for some reason, so I just sort of had to follow him and do what I thought he was trying to tell me.

Then I had two similar dreams.

My second dream was that everyone had a number over their head and depending on what they were doing, or how healthy they were, the number went up or down. I was at Canobe Lake Park with my cousins, and a girl somehow got hurt on the Corkscrew. Her number went down to zero, but she refused to die.

My third dream was that there was some kind of disaster in a big storage building. A few workers got trapped in there and there was a fire. One guy got half his body burned, but he was completely calm and peaceful while he waited for help that eventually did come.

I try not to read too much meaning into dreams unless I’m absolutely sure I’m supposed to. I’m not sure about these ones. For some reason I have a lot of dreams about disasters or the end of the world. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s because I watch too many movies. Anyway, I don’t think these are too important. I just want to remember them I guess, so I figured I’d write them down.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

How To Train Your Conure

I got my bird last Friday. Her name is Grace, but she already has multiple nicknames including Fluffles and Fluff-Muffin. Yesterday we took her to the vet for a checkup, and as of right now she is ridiculously spoiled, but otherwise healthy. We found out that her diet should mostly consist of bird pellets–not seeds–and people food. She really loves pecans, so I’m using those to train her. Right now I’m just trying to teach her “no climb,” “stay,” and “step up.” Over the weekend, all she wanted to do was cuddle. She would bury herself in my hair and just sit there. apparently that’s not good because, as the vet informed us, she thinks she owns me if I allow her to do that. I’ve been trying to teach her to sit on my wrist or my knee, so I don’t allow her to climb up my arm. She’s a bit stubborn, but it’s only been a day, so I think she’ll get there.

Her doctor suggested getting her a play gym so that she can be out, but not necessarily on someone; so we stopped at PetCo on the way home from Salem and picked one up. She seemed to like it. I’m just trying to get her interested in things other than me. I am definitely her favorite person to be on, which is awesome, but since I’m the one training her, I’m also the only one she bites. It hurts, but I don’t really mind it. I’m also sort of trying to teach her not to bite, but I figure too much at once is too confusing, so it’s taking a back seat at the moment. She can bite me if she wants.

We’re not actually 100% sure she’s a girl. it’s impossible to know with conures unless you do a DNA test, so we got that done at the vet. I’m really hoping she’s a girl because I’ve already gotten used to referring to her with feminine pronouns. I’m actually trying not to call her Grace too much because if it turns out she is a boy I’m changing the name to Seamus. The vet said we would potentially know by Friday.

Last night she took a bath in her water bowl, which was super cute, and then she was cold, so she snuggled on my lap for a while, which was also super cute. She’s very soft, and doesn’t mind being pet; actually, she seems to like it. I’ve also discovered that I can’t really have her out while I’m eating because she’s more interested in what I’m eating than her own food. Last night she was in her play gym eating pellets, and then she meandered over to where I was sitting and started eating the stray rice that fell out of my burrito. It’s good for her, so I let her.

I don’t really have any good pictures yet, but she’s mostly green with a gray head and red tail. She’s got some blue under her wings, and her eyes are black with white around the rims. She’s also slightly lighter green on her stomach than on her back. She’s very tiny. She was born in December, so she’s just a baby.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

Giving Up Facebook And Getting A Bird

As many of you know, I am Catholic, so I gave up Facebook for Lent. I’ve found the experience interesting because I’ve found that while I am more productive without social media, I’m not as productive as I thought I would be. I guess I should add that I’m a little obsessed with being productive. I feel like I have a responsibility to the world to accomplish things because I was blessed and lucky enough to be born and raised in upper middle class America.

That being said, I think I have a slightly different idea of what being productive means than some people. Being productive to me doesn’t always mean completing tasks. Being productive to me sometimes means trying new things or making sure I’m enjoying time with people I love, and letting them know how much I love them. I fully believe that love is contagious and can be spread more easily than people might think.

Because I’m not on Facebook, I am getting a lot done, however. In fact, I’m amazed at just how much I can get done, and how much free time I still have. I didn’t realize just how much time I was wasting on something that was really rather pointless.

However, Facebook does have its merits. When I decided to quit the day before Ash Wednesday, I was sure I was going to miss a lot. I was convinced that when I got back on I would be completely out of the loop. Facebook allows us to keep up with what’s going on in our friends’ and families’ lives so easily, that the thought of not knowing is a bit scary. My family is friends with a lady named Charlene. She’s in her early sixties and doesn’t use Facebook. She comes over once or twice a week with her silly little dog to hang out and chat, and she was telling us yesterday (March 2nd) that she had been completely unaware that one of her friends had recently lost their dog, and another friend had had a child.

My mom is on Facebook, and we’re “friends” with a lot of the same people, so I don’t actually think I’m missing much. If I was, she’d probably tell me. I do intend to start using it again after Easter, but I intend to use it a lot less than I was. I still need to use it for my music, and I don’t want to be completely in the dark as to what people are up to. Plus I have a hilarious surprise for everyone.

On Friday I’m going to New Hampshire to buy a bird. I had a parakeet several years ago, and he died at the age of 12. I’ve been petless for far too long now, so for graduation my parents are buying a conure for me. If I get a boy his name will be Seamus, and if it’s a girl, her name will be Lucy. Only a few people know I’m getting him/her, so it’ll give me an excuse to be random. I’ll post pictures here, too because, let’s face it, I get way too excited about cute animals: especially when they’re mine.

Some people say giving something up for Lent is silly and superficial. I think in many cases it is, and I usually don’t do it. Instead, I try to get rid of bad habits or adopt good ones. This year I’m trying to get rid of a very old, and in my opinion, very bad habit. I don’t feel comfortable posting about it, and I’ve actually tried and failed several times. It’s too personal, and it involves someone that is very important to me. This person doesn’t know about it, and it doesn’t really even affect them. It’s just something I don’t like about myself, so I’m trying to get rid of it. In the past I’ve tried using negative reinforcement, and that hasn’t worked, so now I’m trying positive reinforcement and that seems to be working a little better.

Ultimately, I guess what I’m trying to say is that Lent doesn’t have to suck. It can actually be that little extra push that people need to get something done or make a change or just attempt at being a little more conscious of spiritual matters. Sometimes I don’t do anything at all, and I kind of feel like I’m missing something if I don’t. I actually feel like it’s an opportunity that is easily missed.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!