Sometimes I go to bed at night feeling like I failed. I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to, or I didn’t do anything or I didn’t do enough that was productive or helpful to others. Sometimes I feel like I’ve wasted a day. It is a luxury I can afford, but it isn’t one that I feel I deserve. It certainly isn’t something I’ve merited. I have no right or reason to waste time. Time is a person’s most valuable resource. We are only given a set amount of time to begin with, and all we can do is lose it. We can never get it back like we can money or possessions or even love.
That is not to say that we can’t or even shouldn’t spend time doing pointless things. Time is a free gift. So is place and circumstance. To some degree, I believe it would be ungrateful not to take advantage of the luxuries we are given or can afford. I am grateful that I can afford to waste a day if I want to from time to time. I am grateful that I can sleep in a comfortable bed and not have to worry that something bad will happen while I’m asleep. I am grateful that I live within driving distance of an excellent school and within walking distance of my weird, ugly church that has become a home. I am grateful that I can afford modern technology to research and work and write.
I am grateful that, even though I am currently unemployed and really don’t have that much money to my name, I can afford to give a little to fellow musicians when they feature at open mic nights. I am grateful that I have time to give to my church and to blog and write, learn and play music.
Sometimes I wake up in the morning (or afternoon) and smile and think to myself: “Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you that the sun has come up and that we have another day to become better humans and to love more and do more and be more.” Each day is a miracle. Each day is a gift. So many things we take for granted are truly miraculous. The universe could have been completely random and chaotic and arbitrary, but it’s not. It is ordered and good, and to some degree, predictable. It is a miracle that the earth is just close enough, and just far enough from the sun to allow for life. It is a miracle that there is water and edible things. It is a miracle that people can speak and think and use language. It is a miracle that, through the use of language and science, we can begin to understand our Creator.
Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!