Tag Archives: Hats

This Christmas

This Christmas was great. We had a bunch of peeps over for Christmas Eve and ate lots of junk food. My immediate family and I went to mass at 11:00, which was nice because we got home at midnight. The church wasn’t very full, but everyone was happy and we all sang loudly anyway. I actually really like Christmas hymns.

One of my dad’s friends and his family were over, and they had four little girls. They were actually fairly well behaved; meaning they left my brother and cousins and me alone for the most part. We played a lot of video games, most of which I was terrible at, but we had a good time anyway. I am laughably bad at Mario Cart Wii. My cousin Nick (Dinkens) and I had a Crash Team Racing Tournament, and we’re pretty evenly matched at that, so there were a lot of close races and a lot of screaming from the basement.

We opened presents from the extended family earlier on Christmas Eve and later on Christmas Day, but my brother and I usually open gifts from our parents after church. My favorite things were definitely from Mom and Dad. We got a new nest (giant bean bag chair) since I projectile vomited on the last one. I also got a new super warm, fuzzy hat, some whatchamacallits (candy bars) a lava lamp, a loom for making hats and my favorite, Raskolnikov (my new beta fish). I haven’t had a fish since high school, but I do like to keep them. My last fish was gold and he was named Napoleon. Raskolnikov is blue/purple with reddish fins. I’ve decided that little fish just need to have good names. I had thought about naming him Iago, but that dude was just too evil, and I’m not sure I’d want an Iago just hanging out in my bedroom. It’s bad karma… or something.

Anyway, my computer is currently broken, so I’m actually blogging from my phone. I’ve started making a fuzzy, blue hat and it’s slow going, so I’m going to get back to that. Happy Christmas everyone!

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

The Hipster Strikes Again!

I am a self proclaimed hipster. I refuse to wear brand name clothes purely for the fact that they are brand name– that and they’re pointlessly expensive. I avoid shopping like the plague– unless it happens to be guitar shopping. I listen to music no one has ever heard of and only old people and fellow hipsters recognize the songs I cover. The only jewelry I wear is a little cross that my parents got me for my confirmation a few years ago and a pin that I bought from a friend (it’s currently on my favorite hat). I don’t wear nail polish. I collect odd but stylish hats. I suck at using technology– I’m always at least one or two generations behind the current “thing.” I kept my little purple iPod up until my parents got me an iPhone 5, even though I had a smart phone already. For the longest time I refused to use the internet with my smart phone.

I mention all of this because I’ve never cared a whole lot about what people thought of me– at least not the way I look. I still have arguments with my mother about shaving my legs. I think I’ve basically lost though because I think she’s probably right about image being a significant part of performance. I can honestly say that I almost never notice what bands or artists are wearing, but I’m not particularly observant sometimes– a lot of times, actually. I do care deeply about what people think of me personality wise though. I want people to know that I’m caring and sensitive and even naive. I really am still a kid in a lot of ways.

The truth is that I can be selfish and judgmental, and I hate that about myself. I try very hard not to be, but it’s like it was just put into my head without me knowing and it seeps through sometimes. I think a lot of things have made me skeptical and cynical over the years. I think it was a combination of the crap my friends and I dealt with in high school and all the terrible things I see on TV. Sometimes the things that make me laugh simultaneously make me feel guilty. I know I think too much, and that’s part of it. As I’ve said many times before, it has helped me a lot to be able to say “I don’t know,” when it comes to big, scary questions. When a “yes” or “no” answer could create waves or just freak me out, I satisfy myself and try to satisfy others with not knowing.

I am afraid of over simplifying or over complicating things. Neither usually has good results. I’m especially afraid of doing this when it comes to my faith. There are things that I vehemently believe, and I will defend my beliefs, but there are questions I just don’t know the answers to– most people don’t, and sometimes I think taking a stand one way or another can cause more harm than good. There are things that I think humans just can’t know. If we could know everything I think it would make God seem less significant. I want to need God. It seems weird to want to rely on someone because I’m a very independent person in a lot of ways. I don’t know how to explain it. I guess needing him keeps me humble. Knowing he’s with me all the time makes me want to be a better person. I honestly do think that a lot of bad things happen because people don’t love and don’t fear God. I don’t want to sound preachy, but it logically just makes sense. If people believe that there is an ultimate judge watching over them, they will try to be the best people they can be. Of course this is what would ideally happen since people have always and probably always will twist scripture and put God into a mold that suits them best.

I read a blog post last night talking about how people will always pick and choose what they like from scripture. It’s impossible not to. I think it is possible to objectively look at it and pick out the big, overarching message. Most of scripture can be boiled down to “God is awesome,” “Do the right thing” and “Don’t be a jerk.” Most religions and philosophies have a moral code that can be broken down into these three things. Christians often call other Christians brothers and sisters, but the family extends beyond just believers in Christ. Everyone is included: Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, gay, straight, crazies, nerds, hippies, actors, artists; everyone from the dudes who pick up our trash to the CEOs of huge international companies. We are all equal in the eyes of our Father and we should all love each other as family.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

2013 Scatterbrained Update

I wrote a post about a month ago explaining my plans for the semester and the rest of the year, so I though I’d do an update.

School is good. Music is not at all what I expected, but I still like it. It’s very much history and philosophy based. I was a bit worried about Romanticism, but so far I’m liking it (although Emerson kind of pisses me off). The things we read in American Lit are pretty cool, but I don’t really like the prof. He basically told us that his interpretation is the right one and if we disagree, we’re wrong. I just got my first essay back from Creative Writing and I did really well. The final version is due later today.

My teacher gave me the “ok” to start working on a lesson plan for a songwriting class. We’re going to run it for a week and see how it goes once I finish it (hopefully this week). I will get paid, and if it goes well we will probably do more of a once a week thing. He ran an idea by me that I at least think is a good one; he’s going to sell membership cards so that you get free admission to events with the card and you have to just pay cash without one. That way he could run more and better events.

Unfortunately my novel has pretty much taken a back seat for a few reasons, the big ones being time constraint and other projects. School and music are once again the only things I really have time for. I’m also realizing that I may not have the attention span or the creative power to do the whole fantasy thing. I really enjoy writing shorter pieces (anywhere from 3 to 20 pages depending on what I’m writing), and of course I love blogging. I am working on a few things that I would like to try to get published in a journal or something.

My CD is about half way done. We just have to mix my 5th song and then I’ll put it up on Soundcloud. I’m auditioning to play one of the coffee houses my school has throughout the semester. I’m hoping I get in one of the later ones and that they might let me sell copies of my CD. I would probably have to give some of the proceeds to the school or something, but I’m cool with that. I know they let people sell CDs at one of the places I do open mics, so hopefully I’ll have it finished by spring break. Otherwise I will probably have to wait until May to do an open mic. At this point I’m willing to just work like a psycho to get it done. Some of the songs I have left to do should go quick because I’m thinking they should be simpler.

I seriously go back and forth on whether I want to do music or writing for a living even though I think writing is probably more lucrative. Music is just so ridiculously fun any way you slice it.

I do have another idea about how to make a little money by blogging. This blog is of course very personal and random, but I’m thinking about doing a different blog about hats and possibly style/fashion in general. Weirdly enough, I think that would be fun.

Well I actually do have a deadline to meet, so I have to get to work.

Come, My Hat

Come my hat;
We shall dance;
And sing the praises
Of erroneous phrases

She has dreams in her hair
As the saying goes.
Let us render this black
In remembering sleep.

Paraphrase and paradox
Are screaming in my ears.
How long has it been?
He says, “Please come again.”

Sickness is sticky
And I smell it.
It comes in darkness
And lingers in the cold, gray air.

It is no normal sickness.
Either I kill him or he kills me,
But winter never truly dies.
So I will ignore him and drink my coffee.

Clutter

Some people really dislike clutter. I’ve never really minded it. In fact, I find it quite interesting. I think a person’s clutter can say quite a few things about them. My desk is currently covered with a few books left over from this semester, an enormous box of Reece’s peanut butter cups, my cross that I usually wear, my Kindle, a half-full, orange coffee cup (which I am currently drinking), my iPhone, a story that I wrote and printed out for my friend (which I still need to give her), my Bible, a pair of fingernail clippers, my favorite hat and my camera along with the box and instructions it came in/with. These things are all surrounding the computer that my brother made me. All that’s missing is my little box of guitar picks (which is downstairs with my guitars– go figure). If that was here, you would basically have me represented in stuff. Luckily I have an enormous desk. I also have a very small bed. My room is basically dedicated to hats and clutter.

The other day I started on my “Piles” project. Instead of making piles however, I just wandered around my house and looked for them. Although I wouldn’t call all of my photographs “Piles” in the way one would normally think of them, I did find some things that were “naturally” grouped together in ways that you wouldn’t necessarily expect. I’m going to include those because I think they are interesting and I think it’s probably ok to think outside the box a little.

Somehow I’ve managed to keep “busy” in the past few days even though I haven’t really been doing much of anything. I did go to the studio to start recording my song “Understand” yesterday. Other than that I’ve been playing a lot of video games and watching a lot of TV with my brother and cousin. I did spend a few hours writing a couple days ago, which was fairly productive. Long story short, I haven’t got the software for my camera on my computer yet, but once I do that I will get some of my pictures up for you guys to see.