Tag Archives: Money

When The Sky Does Fall

My last post was about how I didn’t lose my book and my sky did not fall. I believe that my sky didn’t fall because I trusted in God. But what if I had lost my book? I had made the choice to trust God before I knew what was going to happen. I had chosen to trust him even if the worst did happen. Trusting God and losing a book would have been one thing. It would have sucked, but I would have been able to recover from it. God wants our trust. He wants to be our family, and that’s what family is about. We entrust the most important parts of our lives to our God, and sometimes we do so because there’s no one else we can trust.

I saw an absolutely terrible thing on the news a couple of days ago. it was about the orphaned and neglected children left without resources or comfort or love in the aftermath of the war in Syria. I haven’t forgotten about them. I’ve made sure to include those kids in my prayers because they need someone to take care of them, and I don’t know how many people changed the channel because they didn’t want to hear or see the sad story. I am trusting God with the lives of those kids who aren’t even mine, but they need help. Still, there’s only so much that can be done, and some of those kids will die. In that sense, the sky will fall. Blue diamonds will be lost. I would just like to ask that anyone who might be reading this to join me in praying for those blue diamonds.

Sometimes our skies fall much closer to home. Relatives or pets die. We get sick or injured. Students end up not having enough money to finish a degree. Relationships end badly. Trusting God is a choice, and we have to trust him with these issues before the sky falling is even a possibility; before it even crosses our minds that something bad could ever happen. Reading this here will not help anyone do that. Writing it down doesn’t make it any easier for me to do it. The ultimate question is, what do we do when the sky does fall? Do we continue to trust?

Think about this: Jesus’ whole life was a series of falling skies, both for his friends, but mainly for his mother. When the angel Gabriel came to Mary and asked her if she would be the mother of the Messiah, it was up to her. She had to make that choice. She had to trust God that this would turn out okay. She knew that the Messiah would save Israel, but she didn’t know exactly how he was going to do that. She chose to trust. Then again, when she went to the temple to present Jesus to Simeon, she was told that because of her son, a sword would pierce through her own soul. She didn’t know what that meant, but it couldn’t have sounded good, and again, she chose to trust. Jump ahead a few decades, and she trusted Jesus all the way to the cross. The sky fell hard, and still she trusted. Most of his friends couldn’t handle it, but she trusted, and luckily, John trusted, too. Three days later, everything turned out okay. We know how the story goes.

We have to make the same choice. We have to choose to trust God, and in a way, it’s harder for us. Mary was born without sin, so it was easier for her to know and to trust God. On top of that, she had some inclination of how things were going to turn out in the end. In our lives, that often doesn’t happen so much. We still have free will, though, and trust is a choice we have to make in the end. We know the story of Jesus’ life on earth. We know what he’s done in our own lives. We know he can do anything, so before anything happens, good or bad, choose to trust. Choose to hope. Choose faith. Choose love. Choose peace, and know that the God of all that is good loves you, wanted you to exist, wants what is good for you, wants the best for you, and is coming back in the end. The sky might fall. The sky might have already fallen for you, but know that Jesus can take a fallen sky and make a blue diamond.

I wish you all countless blue diamonds in the coming year, and a very merry Christmas.

-Katie

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

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What More Can I Do?

I tried to start a prayer chain on Facebook a few days ago. The idea was that if you prayed the Rosary, you would do it at least once for the people in Texas, and then tag five people so they could do it in turn. If you didn’t (or don’t) pray the Rosary and wanted to join me you would just pray five Our Father’s, and do the same thing. I don’t know if anyone’s done it, but I’ve been doing it for several days now. Only two out of the five people I tagged have “liked” my original post, but three people who I don’t even know have also “liked” it. If anyone wants to join me, you can either repost this, or just let your readers know what your’re doing.

Anyway, While I was doing this two days ago, I really focused on each individual part of the Lord’s Prayer, and it’s amazing just how poetic and relevant it is. I’ll write the original, and then put it into vernacular here.

Our Father
Who art in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our tresspasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us;
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.

Our Father in Heaven,
Your name is holy.
Let your Kingdom come and your will be done
On Earth just as it is in Heaven.
Today give us what we need,
And forgive us our sins,
As we forgive those who sin against us.
Keep us away from temptations,
And deliver us from evil.

When I started this prayer chain idea, I started with the Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary, which focus on everything that happened after Jesus rose from the dead. It may seem like a weird place to start, but I started here because to me, these are the Mysteries of hope, and I’m sure the people in Texas could use a little more of that.

Because of the hope that Jesus gave us, we get to call the God of the universe our Father, despite his holiness, and despite our humanness. We know that his Kingdom is coming, but the fact of the matter is, it’s already here, too. We ask that his will is done because his will is always good. We can always ask for help to keep us from sinning, and he always answers that prayer, and he always frees us from evil. It just sometimes takes a while.

two days ago I was doing the Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary, which focus on five of Jesus’ most significant miracles. In particular, I was thinking about when he turned water into wine. I found myself thinking, “Turn water into… something else. They’ve had enough.” I’m doing the Mysteries in order, so today I’ll be doing the Sorrowful Mysteries, which focus on his Passion. It starts with the Agony in the Garden, where Jesus prays to his Father, and says “I don’t want to do this, but your will be done.”

I didn’t have a chance to do this yesterday because we had family over, but two days ago I found myself thinking about those words in particular. I found myself thinking, “I don’t really know what to pray. I just don’t get this, but your will be done.” Over the past few days, I’ve found myself praying that a lot: “I don’t know what to do or pray, but your will be done.”

two days ago I watched a video about a guy who got burned by accident when he was nine. He had burns over one hundred percent of his body. No one expected him to live. Then a guy who was a baseball announcer on the radio came and visited him in the hospital. The kid couldn’t open his eyes because they were swollen shut, but the guy told him he was going to live. He came back a bunch of times, and kept telling him that.

Eventually the kid left the hospital and went home, but some of his fingers had been amputated, and he didn’t want to learn to write again because that would mean going back to school. The Baseball guy sent him a baseball that said if he wanted a second baseball, all he had to do was write a “thank you” letter. He kept doing this to help the kid recover and learn and essentially get back to normal. When the kid graduated high school or college (I don’t remember which), the baseball guy showed up to his graduation. He said he kept asking himself, “What more can I do?”

I found myself asking that same question this morning. I’ve been praying. I hadn’t donated any money because I’m on social security disability, and I feel like it’s not really “my” money. Then I thought about it differently. Donating two hundred bucks is basically just moving that two hundred from Massachusetts to Texas. Since it was never mine to begin with, I might as well make some use of it. I do have menial savings, so I donated that two hundred. Still, the question lingers. What more can I do? I won’t forget about this, and I won’t ignore it because I refuse to.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

Money

I have complicated feelings about money. My dad makes a lot of money, and by most peoples’ standards, my family is wealthy. My parents paid cash for me to go to college. That’s pretty crazy. I personally am broke. I’m on social security disability because I can’t just go out and get any job. I’m pretty stingy, and I’m good at saving what money I have. Still, my parents spoil me and help me pay for a lot of things. You have no idea how much I hate that. I want to contribute to our family’s income, and my mom keeps telling me that I am because of social security, but that’s not really my money. I didn’t earn it. I feel like I’m leaching.

Here’s the thing: I don’t want money. If I had a crap ton of money, I would give a crap ton of money away. At the same time, I want money so that I can independently contribute to my family’s income. I almost sold out. I stopped writing for a while because I just wanted a job so badly. I want to be able to occasionally splurge or donate to causes that I care about without having to feel guilty. I’m not good at accepting help. I get that from my dad. His side of the family is very proud about that kind of thing, and I inherited it.

I guess I don’t hate money. Some people say they hate money, especially when they don’t have it. I get the reasoning, but I don’t hate it. I just don’t have it, and that annoys me. My mom doesn’t work, so we’ve always treated our money like it’s all in one pot that belongs to all of us, and if I had my own money, I guess we would still treat it like that, but I would just feel a lot better about using money if I was contributing to the pot. You get the point. I should probably just stop worrying about it and be patient. Right now my parents don’t care if I contribute to the pot. They want me to finish my book and do stuff that I care about. I guess that’s really more important, anyway. In other words, this is just another whiney tangent about nothing. I do that sometimes.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

Something You Should Know

I’ve written a few posts recently that have made it sound like I know Jesus super well and I know exactly how to run my life. Neither of those things are true. Most of the time I’m fairly self-centered, and a lot of the time, I forget about spiritual things until I go to bed. I pray before I go to sleep every night, but to be completely honest, a lot of the time it’s only out of superstition and habit. I pray during the day when I’m worried or nervous about something, but a lot of the time, I find that my prayers are selfish. The fact of the matter is, I think I am selfish. I want to be kind and helpful to people, but I’m distracted by video games and homework and friends and classes and commuting and relaxing.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I am blessed to have been born in the U.S. to a fairly wealthy middle class family. I don’t deserve what I have, but I am exceptionally thankful for it. I can’t begin to fathom how lucky I am. I’ve never seen war or extreme poverty or terrible sickness–not first hand, anyway. The point is that I get so wrapped up in my own life to remember those who are less fortunate than me.

I also know that I’m hard on myself about this stuff. I have done good things for other people, and honestly, I think I’ve made a real difference in some cases. I was part of creating an advocacy program for young adults with disabilities, and I’ve seen it make a big difference. I raided around $400 and did the Walk for Hunger last year. I know my music has inspired some people here and there. I just wish I could do more. I go through periods where I feel like I’m being lazy and I have too much free time. The trouble is, I don’t feel like I’ve made a difference where I want to.

Two things that I feel passionate about are mental illness and war. I can’t fix either of those problems, but I can pray about them, and I know I don’t do nearly enough of that. My other problem is that I am ridiculously disorganized. I’m not good at setting up fundraisers or demonstrations or even little prayer groups. I’m not a good leader.

However, I can do this: I have around 250 followers on this blog, and I can ask all of you, in whatever way feels right, to pray for the victims of any kind of violence: that they would be safe, that they would find places to go to or ways of defending themselves, and that the people causing this violence would change.

I also ask that you would pray for anyone suffering from mental illness, that they would find healthy ways of dealing with it, and that they would find support in loved ones.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

Here Is A Thing

Hey, everyone!

I know I’ve been a giant pain in the butt lately, but I have one more thing I’m going to bug you with. I’ve recently created a bandcamp profile, and although some of you might have bought my album on iTunes (which is super cool of you), you might not have, and if not, you can get it here for slightly less monies:
https://katierosecurtis.bandcamp.com/album/replace-these-empty-spaces

Or if you don’t want to buy it, I think you can just listen for free. Anyway, it would be super cool if you could at least check it out.

Thanks,

Katie

Release

Hey everyone!

I have one more super exciting, musical thing to tell you!

First of all, I want to thank those of you who checked out my YouTube videos. However, that was just a taste of my sneaky shenanigans of doing!

And yes, my grammar commits suicide when I’m excited.

ANYWAY… as of late last night, or early this morning, my album is available on iTunes to purchase. I’m actually a little annoyed with myself, but all day I’ve been shamelessly antagonizing the masses to go and get it. However, I would really appreciate it if you guys would at least go check out the demos. You can easily find it on iTunes just by searching “Replace These Empty Spaces,” or “Katie Rose Curtis,” but here’s a link anyway.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/one/id919649617?i=919649629&ign-mpt=uo%3D4

There will also be a “stage two” of my release since it’s only available for digital download right now. However, this will be happening in the spring or summer since I’m currently very busy with school.

I just want to thank you all again for taking an interest in my blog and my music. It really means a lot.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

The List

Things I want to do:

Get married
Get payed for playing music
Travel (everywhere if possible)
Be philanthropic
Change the world (on a small scale would suffice)
Own at least one pet (this will be happening soon)
Pay rent
Buy groceries
Start over at something
Start something new
Go skydiving
Sit at the top of a mountain
Burn the ships
Get utterly and completely lost and then find my way back
Be an aunt
Read lots of books (working on this one)
Live a century
Be happy (in progress)

It isn’t exactly a bucket list, but in some ways it is.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

Share Your Pizza

On Friday night I had to go into Boston for work and then I met my parents for dinner at a pizza place. After dinner I had a little over half a pizza left since I was bad and had a pumpkin spice latte at work (I have an easy job). On the way back to the car we walked right past a homeless guy who was sitting on the sidewalk, and after we got in the car I thought, “Crap! I could have given him the rest of my pizza!” It wouldn’t have been a long walk, and I could have gone back and given it to him, but I didn’t. I felt bad about it the whole way home, and I prayed that God would send someone nicer than me to share their pizza with that guy.

When I was a junior in high school (I’m a junior in college now) I attended a summer program at Berklee College of Music. There were a lot of homeless guys hanging around there, and at the time I was a broke high school student, but I heard a lot of people were buying them water bottles or sandwiches or what have you. I grew up being told that a lot of people were homeless because the probably deserved it; they were probably drug addicts or criminals, so I shouldn’t give them any money. I don’t believe that anyone doesn’t deserve help anymore. Everyone deserves help because no matter who they are or what they’ve done, they are God’s children and my brothers and sisters. Maybe it’s better not to give some of them money, but it can’t hurt anyone to share some pizza.

My point is; don’t pass these people by. Too many people do, including myself, and nothing can change if they don’t get help. They need someone to care about them. We don’t have to single-handedly save the world, but we can lend a hand every now and then. Maybe you will be the nicer person that I prayed for. Please share your pizza next time you pass someone who looks like they need it.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

The Bystander Effect

Yesterday in my philosophy class we talked about the bystander effect. We talked about how a group of people will stand and watch a child drown purely because there are other people there. People seem to have a mentality of “no one else is helping, why should I?” It’s why the genocide of the Jews in Germany was even possible.

It’s also why there are millions of starving children in the wold. We talked about how it seems that a person who is able to help should be morally obligated to from an egalitarian viewpoint. We talked about how people act based on social norms and an innate sense of self preservation and how this does not  seem to correlate with egalitarianism or a common sense of compassion.

It disturbed me a little in class, but we have talked about this kind of thing numerous times before in other classes mainly on a theoretical level. It sunk in however when I read an add in the school bulletin that gets sent out once a day via email. A girl was asking for help with a public speaking project she had coming up and I almost replied, but then I thought, “Well, she probably already has several other people offering to help her and I’m busy.” It is midterms. What if everyone else was “too busy” as well? I most likely have a few hours to spare some time this week. Am I morally obligated to help that girl?

Something else struck me today. I remembered that Jesus said, “The poor will always be with you.” Why? Is it because people aren’t helping? Is it because of economic or social structures, as some would argue? Do they bring poverty upon themselves? Is it forced upon them? What bothers me most is that word always. Is there nothing we can do to stop it? Is poverty an undying force that can’t be stopped?

A question that plenty of people deal with all the time is; why, if God is good does he allow suffering? I don’t have an answer to that. Everyone suffers in one way or another. It’s because we live in an imperfect world. What I really don’t get is why some people suffer WAY more than others. What’s more is that often times, the more people suffer, the stronger their faith is. In fact, many people bring suffering upon themselves to strengthen their spiritual life. The thing about our God is that he suffered for us, and he suffers with us. I know that, but I don’t entirely know what it means. God is with us and he is with us in our suffering, but what does it mean that he suffers too? I think if I could figure that out I would understand a lot of other things as well.

Last semester in my creative nonfiction writing class I read a short piece called “Being Christ to the Traveler.” In short it was about a guy who offers to hold a drunk guy’s flowers while he pees out the door of a train (the guy had evidently just broken up with his girlfriend). We can help anyone by doing little things like that, but it takes so much more to help the poor or the people dying of AIDS over in Africa.

The thing is, I basically don’t have anything saved. If it weren’t for my parents I’d be dead on the street somewhere, but as it stands I live in an awesome house in a nice, safe neighborhood, I go to a super nice college and took guitar lessons for five years. I personally am very poor. I have a part time job, but because of school and music I don’t work much and I make peanuts; actually less than peanuts.

All the money I’ve saved or that I make goes to recording my first album, and that’s where I’m conflicted. My plan/hope is to be able to live off of music and have a little extra to send to charities, etc. What we talked about in my philosophy class was this; is it more morally right to take the money one spends on college/recording/whatever and just give that to charity, or should one wait, go through college/recording/gigging/whatever and ultimately be able to do much more and help many more people? I don’t know.

I guess a good compromise is to help who you can when you can, how you can, but I don’t think it’s quite as satisfying as being able to say you got a kid out of poverty. I guess we’re not supposed to look for satisfaction out of helping people. Again, I’m probably thinking about this too much.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

Contest

Hey everyone! I’ve joined this contest through Guitar Center, and I’d seriously appreciate it if you’d at least check this link out. It would be awesome if y’all would share it with your friends and family, because the more people who check it out, the better the odds of my doing well in the contest are. If I win I’ll get a lot of great prizes including the chance to make a 4 song EP basically for free.

Thanks in advance to those of you who check this out.
http://songwriter.revimage.com/channels/Katie+Curtis+Music

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!