Tag Archives: Plans

One Year Later

I’ve been trying for a week, at least, to do two things. It’s been difficult, because they are related, and if I can’t do one, then I can’t do the other, either. It’s Valentine’s Day, and all weekend I’ve been trying to convince myself that I don’t care. I’m about 90% of the way there. It’s important that I don’t care because, for one thing, I’m single, and for another, I promised God that I would belong to him 100%, and to me, at least for right now, that means not having a “romantic” relationship with anyone else. I decided on this many months ago because, for several, rather complicated reasons, finding a partner would be difficult at best.

This decision has been, for the most part, emotionally helpful. It seems counter-intuitive, but giving up in that department has allowed me to be happy for people who do have strong relationships, has allowed me to focus on more important things, namely my novel, my hobbies, and my friends, and has allowed me to strengthen my relationship with God. However, just because I’ve decided I will never have a “significant other” and have decided not to look, does not mean I don’t still sometimes want a partner.

Last month, when I realized Valentine’s Day was coming up, I started to feel a little bad. I’ve realized that this issue is a little more complicated than I originally assumed. I’ve read and heard some things explaining how having a strong relationship can be a way of glorifying God. Lately I’ve been trying to figure out exactly what it means to belong to God 100%. I want to know if I can have a partner and still be dedicated entirely to him. The thing is, I feel like it’s a little bit of a betrayal if I’m longing after something I can’t have. But if I’m longing after that person (whoever it might be), does that mean I should seek them out? I’m just a little bit stuck.

A little while ago I went on Facebook. Normally that would be a bad idea for someone like me on this day, but I actually liked seeing what people were doing or a few silly or cynical posts. I was going to go to the movies with a couple of friends tonight, but they ended up having other obligations. I planned to go to the movies to distract myself, but actually, I don’t need to. As far as I’m concerned, today is just another ordinary day. I have some things I’d like to get done, anyway.

I know this day can be hard. I totally get it. I wish I had some words of wisdom to share, but I really don’t. I’ve been trying to figure out a meaningful way to tell the world that God loves everyone; God’s love is eternal; God’s love is no-matter-what, but I can’t. I don’t know how to make that sink in. I can’t figure out how to say it in a way that hasn’t been said before. You’ve probably heard it so many times that it doesn’t mean much any more. You have to feel it to know it.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

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Plan B: Pass It On

Last night it hit me. Young people in the modernized, western world are turning to ISIS for stability, community and answers instead of the Church. Something needs to be done about that. Obviously that isn’t always the case, but the fact that it happens at all is a serious problem that is getting overlooked. My original plan was to start working on my own “propaganda” to try to bring people to Christ instead of the Islamic State. As most of my plans are, this was overly ambitious. I’m just one woman, and I don’t have the know-how to do it properly. My plan B, which probably should have been plan A, is this:

Lord, there are people in this world who really need you right now. They need to know your love and your peace. Please make sure that they find you. Direct them to your Church, and not to violence. Direct them to love. Use your people, Lord, and let us be loud. Let us be your voice. Give us the tools and the words; give us whatever it is we need to bring in the lonely, the weird, and the wounded. Lord, don’t let hate and despair grow in their hearts. Fill that space with your love and lead your people to Jesus–all your people. Lastly, please heal those people who have already chosen violence. Show them that this is not what you want for them. Show them that what they are doing is wrong, and show them that you still love them. Overwhelm them with your love. Let there be peace and forgiveness among enemies. Let us be one, all together under one God. Don’t leave anyone behind, Lord, and don’t let us leave anyone behind.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

So my plan only works if you pass it on. Peeps! Pray this, too, and then share it on your on blog or Facebook or whatever else you use, and bug your friends.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

Fun And Fixing Things

I wonder what God’s version of fun looks like. Does God have fun? I guess he must because he makes artists and musicians and crazy people and lets them loose to make people laugh and make love happen. Still, God has a pretty stressful job. He knows everything about everyone, ever. He knows exactly when a baby is going to die or when friends are going to see each other for the last time. He even knows every nasty thought that goes through every head. To me that sounds awfully depressing.

I ask God why he doesn’t fix things a lot. It’s probably really annoying at this point. I really hope that God has fun. Genesis says that God created the universe and saw that it was good. He was pleased with this crazy, complicated insanity he made. Maybe it’s similar to how I feel when I write a new song or a particularly interesting blog post. Someone once said that he asked God why he doesn’t do something about all the problems in the world and God said, “I did do something. I created you.” I do want to fix things, so I suppose the same response applies to me as well.

I really just want people to love each other. I want people to look at each other and say, “I love you because you are a human. God created you and me the same. We’re both special and we’re both just like everyone else.” The trouble is that I don’t know how to make that happen. I don’t know how to reach more people with the limited resources I currently have. All I know to do is write blog posts and write songs and hope and pray that I can get my message out there.

I need to be more proactive, though. I haven’t been looking too hard for opportunities to perform lately, partly because I currently hate my bedroom. I basically lived in there for over a month while I was finishing up school and I want to be anywhere but there, which means I haven’t been using my computer much at all in the past few days. I’m getting a bit off topic, so I’ll end here, but I want to end on a promise. I promise that in the next week I will find 3 new open mic venues and attempt to get 3 gigs.

Wish me luck. Prayers are appreciated.

Thanks!

Today And Tonight

This morning I went to the studio to work on “Missing You.” I played djembe on this one, which was pretty cool. As of right now it has acoustic and lead guitar and percussion (djembe and shaker) on it. Next time we might actually finish it up depending on how long bass takes. I don’t think vocals will take too long unless I decide I want harmony.

Earlier this afternoon Ken’s friend called me to ask some questions about how long a set I could play, etc. He said he was going to shoot me an email with some more specific questions. I gave him the link to my blog and my soundcloud, so I guess he’s going to check that stuff out first and get back to me. I told him I could comfortably play an hour to an hour and a half set. That might actually be pushing it, but I can get a few more songs written between now and the date of the show. 🙂

Tonight is The Sad Cafe shindig. I’m planning on playing around 5 songs; 3 electric and 2 acoustic. It’s going to end on a super mellow note. All 5 are already recorded and are just waiting for their baby brothers and sisters to be done!

Here’s my set:

You Answered
Stuck In My Head
Nostalgia
Understand
Passenger

Album Cover Part 3: Prototype

Well guys, I finally found Paint.NET. Rather, my brother found it, and of course it was right there in front of me. It runs in the family– my dad can never find the ketchup in the fridge even if it’s staring right at him.

Anyway, These are my first attempts to create my idea for the album cover. I actually did them fairly quickly, so it’s really just the basic idea. I definitely like the blue better at the moment. I’m not sure if the dark background and the white light is too much of a contrast or what, but I’ll try and figure it out when I have more time. I think it just needs another element, but I’m not sure exactly what that would be. I’m still not sure how I would do the silhouette that I mentioned in an earlier post, but maybe I don’t need it.

RMES Cover V1

RMES Cover V2

RMES Cover V3

It’s a little hard to read in the pic, but the text says “Replace My Empty Spaces.”

Comments would be great!

Thanks, guys! ❤

Somehow

Somehow I have 51 followers now. I’m still not entirely sure how that happened. I ramble about coffee, faith and music…. while drinking coffee and listening to worship music. I’m not that exciting, guys! I come to conclusions about huge issues that are probably not as well thought out as they could be, overly simplified, absurd or just straight up wrong, but for some reason y’all still seem to like what I have to say.

Well, I want to say thanks so much for reading, and I want to let y’all know that I have a plan. It has taken me forever to formulate and commit to this plan, but I have one! For the next two years while I’m working on my English degree I’m going to be writing songs, recording and working on setting up gigs for the summers. I’ll play in the Boston area and hopefully spread out to all of New England. After those two years I’m just going t0 jump in head first and go as far as it takes me (Europe, perhaps? I miss you, Frenchie!). Hopefully I’ll have enough recognition to live off of this musical insanity. If not I’ll try and get some kind of writing job that will allow me to work from anywhere. As long as I can remain mobile, I should get this to work.

At some point I’m also going to move the music-related stuff to a blog called “The Meandering Hat,” which I haven’t got started yet, but I want to still be able to use flyinguineapig for philosophy and personal stuff. So that’s the plan! I also need to see about getting signed. I’m actually not worried about that. I’ve never had a bad reception of my music. Everyone seems to like it (except for my brother, but I think it’s a prerequisite to being a younger sibling). It’s astonishing, weird and encouraging. 🙂

Seriously though, I think this is the first time I’ve ever really had a plan. The future used to scare me a lot, but it doesn’t as much now that I’ve definitively decided to follow this crazy dream of mine. I know I’ve said I’ve had plans before, but that wasn’t always entirely true and they weren’t really long term, future plans. I think I was inevitably going to end up here. I couldn’t just finish the album and do nothing with it. music is what I’m best at and I want whatever I do to glorify God. This seems like a pretty awesome way to do that. Prayers are appreciated. Wish me luck, peeps!

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly!

I Will Play

Well, there was some interest in my last post, so I thought I’d give y’all an update. Today I spammed emails out to a few venues. I’m going to try and get the “feature” at a couple open mics. If that works out I’ll try and get my own gigs there. I know I will be playing at The Sad Cafe in Plaistow NH, but I’m waiting to hear back from them with the exact date. I also sent an email out to Cafe 939 in Boston. I’d say it’s pretty unlikely that I’ll get in there since I’ve never played a paying gig before, but I think I might have just enough experience for them to at least consider me. I’m shooting for Saturday June 8th. I also may or may not send something out to The Middle East in Cambridge. my Friend played there and I don’t recall if there was a feasible way to get a wheelchair on stage (that little detail should make gigging super fun). I’ll probably send something anyway. Life is an adventure!

I also had another excellent idea today. Once the CD is out I’m going to give 50% of sales to a charity (I have some ideas, I just haven’t picked one yet). I’m going to wait until I make my first hundred and start there. I seriously think this could go places. Prayers are appreciated. Wish me luck everybody!

Plans

Well, I start classes today. I have romanticism at 2 then I have creative writing nonfiction. Tomorrow I have the music of worship and American lit 1945 to present. I got my books yesterday. It’s an awfully big pile. Based on the books I have for it, the music class might actually end up being a lot more in depth than I thought it would be. I still have high hopes for it though.

I may be getting an internship at the studio I record at some time this year. I might end up teaching some songwriting classes. My teacher is hopefully going to try some new marketing ideas and if it works out then he said he definitely wants me. I may or may not get paid for it, but either way it would be fun and it would get me some experience.

I will hopefully make it to more rehearsals with the church choir. I had an insane school schedule last semester, and I sort of dropped off around Christmas time. We’re going to be losing a few people until the spring, so I’ll be the only alto for a while. I liked to sort of follow Alicia (the other alto) sometimes. All this means is that I need to start practicing more at home.

I will also continue working on my novel and my blog as much as possible. My goal is to have something published by this time next year, whether that be my CD or some short stories or a nonfiction piece or maybe my novel (although I have a feeling it’s going to take forever to finish it at this rate).

So it looks like I have a whole pile of good stuff on my plate from this point forward! Wish me luck, peeps!