Sunday Lump

I’m not good at relaxing. I’m good at being lazy. I have a constant need to multitask because if I don’t, I procrastinate, and get nothing done. I haven’t been working on my book much of late. That’s part of the reason I started the music project, which I am enjoying very much. I think that’s okay. I think part of my problem, however, is that lately it’s felt like working on my book is just that–work. A book is a piece of art, and I’m an artist. While it’s true that working on my art is my job, it shouldn’t only feel like a job.

The music project has created stress because it takes up time that I would otherwise use to procrastinate or actually write, but that’s the point. I can’t afford to procrastinate anymore. I’m starting to enjoy working on the book again, but the funny thing is, between working on music, the book, and the blog, I’ve become a bit of a workaholic. The thing is, the music project doesn’t only involve writing and recording songs. It’s already started to involve self-promotion because I’ve released the single. That’s involved re-teaching myself how to use movie-maker, and upload videos to YouTube, how to promote my stuff on Facebook, and how to upload stuff to Bandcamp. It’s all technically simple, but if you’re not tech-savvy, it takes at least a little time.

Before I started writing this post, I glanced at a map I drew of the continental landscape of my book, and it gave me an idea. I was going to start working on it, but then stopped myself and laughed. I told myself to relax. My plan for today was to sit around and read. I haven’t been reading. I’ll do that this evening. I slept in, and hung out with my family instead. I’m going to afternoon Mass in a bit.

When I’m being lazy, I say I’m being a lump. A lot of times, I don’t mean to be a lump. I just am. Today, I’m forcing myself to enjoy myself, get a few minor things done–mainly prayerful things–and be a Sunday lump.

After Deep Breathing: So Mellow

I was looking into meditation because I’ve heard that it helps with spiritual growth and mostly what I found was that it starts with deep breathing. I watched a few YouTube videos, and a lot of them talked about things that are currently over my head. I decided to just give it a rest and start with what I knew, so I got myself comfortable, turned the lights off, closed my eyes and just did some breathing exercises.

A lot of what I heard and read said that you were supposed to let your thoughts come, but let them pass; be an observer instead of a participant. I think that was what I was doing, but we’ll see what happens when I actually have difficult stuff on my mind.

The results were absolutely AMAZING. I didn’t want to stop, but I couldn’t keep doing it forever. I’ll probably try again before I go to bed. I felt completely relaxed after I did it. Everything felt loose and I felt mellowed out; not sleepy, but very calm.

I decided to look into this because I’m trying to figure out what the next step is in terms of what I’m going to do with my life and in terms of my spiritual life. I wanted a way in which I could potentially come closer to God, and I think meditation is probably a good place to start.

Other than that I don’t really have anything too exciting to report at the moment. If anyone has any advice/pointers on meditation I’d love comments. At the moment I’m not really even sure what form to use. Ideally I would like to use a form that helps with prayer or can be adapted to do so.

Because in my world guinea pigs can fly